Openers: (remember time constraints)
Jealous Girlfriend
Guys you need to help me settle this debate once and for all... This is... Like “Fate of the world” kind of stuff... You ready?... Beef... Or Chicken?
Hello hello
Opinion - New earring
Hey are you stalking me? - I’m so tired of hot women following me around all day, it gets annoying.
I’ve never been here before, what do you recommend? - Can I trust you? - If it’s bad we’re getting a divorce.
It’s a good thing you’re pretty (if they do something stupid)
Best friend predicament
You know what they say about girls who...
My friend is coming down from Sydney next weekend and she wants to know good clothes shops
Did you just touch my ass? – I’m not just some piece of meat, I have feelings too.
You like those too!? - I can already tell that we’d never get along, we’re too similar.
Are you guys shy? - I’ve been over there with my friends for 5 minutes and you didn’t even come over and say hi!
Good clubs, restaurants, cafe, activities.
You guys looks like SOO much fun. I had to come and say hi.
You ‘re really bad at staring contests aren’t you?
If you were going to flirt with me like that, you could have at least done your hair a little better.
Didn’t your mum ever tell you it was rude to stare?
How much did you have to pay those guys to stand there with you?
Attraction:
Disqualifiers: Cocky/Funny, Negs, Banter:
I think you have a confession to make... I just got out of the shower and there was a girl in the tree outside my window, and I SWEAR she looked just like you!
That’s all you get. Don’t get any ideas. (When a initiate kino)
Did you just call to flirt with me?
I don’t like the way you look at me... Like I’m some kind of sex object. I have feelings too.
But you can’t get drunk and try come home with me – “why not?” - Because I would rather go to your place
I don’t like you anymore. *****...
Stop undressing me with your eyes, you perv!
Don’t get any ideas. I’m not easy.
I reckon you and that bald guy in the corner will make a REALLY cute couple, let’s go over there and introduce you. *smile*
Look, this isn’t working out, we’re going to have to get a divorce. You’re too controlling.
Look, this isn’t working, I’m getting us a divorce before we even get married.
Keep your pants on missy!
Stop trying to impress me.
You better get back to your friends before they realise you’re over here flirting with me... But before you go... (Time constraint)
Are you always like this? Or just with guys you’re attracted to?
Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger
Whatever woman, go make me a sandwich.
Jesus, how to you turn her off?
Is she always like this?
Are you drunk or always like this?
Is she always so grabby/needy/controlling/demanding?
Nice shoes, what, are you like an oompa loompa without them?
Nice shoes... Some poor homeless kid must be running around barefoot right now.
Oh my God! Your shirt has cuts in it. It looks like you were taken down by a police dog!
You POOR THING! You’re too poor to afford the FULL shirt! Do you want a dollar or
something? We got to get you a real shirt! Come on I’m taking you shopping at k-mart.
Hey ADD, show’s over here!
You would.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’d just fight all the time and I’d win.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’d just fight all the time... Then have awesome makeup sex.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’re too similar.
Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything *smile* (when she complains about her looks)
Say’s the girl who [insert how she was trying to hit on you or some funny characteristic]
You’re being demoted to hand holding ONLY
I’m not just some piece of meat/sex object! I have feelings too you know...
Look that was really funny, I’ll give you a medal for that...
Note to self: DO NOT DATE THIS GIRL.
Stop flirting with me!
You can undress me in your head and there is nothing I can do about it... I feel so vulnerable.
Yeah, yeah... I know why you want to get me drunk...
This is a great spot for me, I'm really well-lit.
You’re getting me all emotional. I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight.
Something smells great in here. Oh, it’s me.
You guys are trouble.
You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you
OMG you’re so annoying, you remind me of my sister!
You’re bad. You’re making me think impure thoughts.
You’re a total player, my mum warned me about girls like you!
OH MY GOD! You’re such a brat!
OHHH you dork. I’m going to get you one of those hats with the propeller on it.
We need to get you one of those sippy cups (that baby’s use) (if in a cafe)
It’s a good thing you’re pretty (if she says something retarded)
You’re retarded. Go sit in the corner and put on your helmet.
(Beat them in a game.) OMG you suck at this! But you can cook right?
That was MEAN! You owe me a massage for that. UPPER BODY ONLY! I don’t want you getting any ideas this early on in our relationship.
I’m too high maintenance for you.
You’re so outside the circle of trust.
You’re such a player.
Isn’t this a school night?
We need to find you a guy
Seriously if you don’t stop hitting on me, I’m getting a restraining order
Only on 3 conditions: 1) NO flirting with me. 2) NO checking me out. 3) NO touching! Break any of those and there’s consequences...
I’m going to have to ask for your managers contact information - “are you serious?” - Do I look serious? I don’t appreciate you treating my friend and I like a piece of meat... - I’ll tell you what... I won’t call your manager if you give me your number so I can call you up and we can take you to nymphomaniacs anonymous to help you curve your sexual appetite.
I LOVE your hair, it reminds me of a birds nest.
I LOVE your hair, it makes your head look normal.
Nice shoes. I bet they looked REALLY nice when they were new.
DHV’s, games, experiments, tests:
93% of women masturbate in the shower, the other 7% sing.
Cube
Strawberry fields
White room, Favourite colour, Favourite Animal, Out at sea
5 question game
Dance-o-meter
Make you say 13
Pick a number between 50 and 100 routine
Staring contest
Finger jousting
Thumb wars
Figure 8
Trust test
Fuck, Marry, Kill.
Ring finger routine
Gold stars
Latin dance move
Mood ring
Best friend’s test
Kiss game (who knows more different kisses)
Ring transportation routine
Who can be quiet the longest.
Qualification:
What 3 things about you would make me want to get to know you better when I could be speaking to anyone in this room right now? You can’t say your look’s though because beauty is common.
Can you cook?
Is she house trained?
You’re much too classy to be in a place like this, I can tell you are the dominant girl of your group. (If obstacle tries to take her away all you have to say is “Who’s the dominant one is all i have to say” and she will want to fit the image you made for her.
Are you adventurous? Well what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
I LOVE girls adventurous/spontaneous... I’m still not sure if you are or not
You can be my new girlfriend. OH WAIT! Can you cook?
You can be my new wife for the next 15 minutes!
Too bad you’re not my type or I’d SO hook up with you right now...
You’re really cool... Too bad you’re not my type... (get into how you love adventurous girls)
I’m too high maintenance for you.
You're nothing that you seem
Your laugh is a disease
I’m too old for you. Actually you just wouldn’t be able to handle me, I’m too adventurous and energetic.
Shit test replies:
Glad you like it. So what else do you like about me?
Looks like someone put on their cranky pants this morning
If that were true, you wouldn’t love me.
Give me a kiss on the cheek and I’ll consider letting you forgive me
Lighten up you loser
Awwww you’re so cute when you’re angry
Jeeeez, you’re so power hungry, reminds me of Rocky. He’s my little jack Russel but he is DOMINANT... Once I took him to the park to introduce him to my ex’s dog, this massive German
Sheppard ect ect (Manuver conversation away from negative emotions)
Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger
Na, well done that was really funny. Anyways... (Roll off)
Comfort:
You know, you're a cool/good/nice girl, despite what everyone else says about you. (During comfort)
My first impression of you was kind of not that great but not that I got to know you, you are amazing. (During comfort)
My first impression of you was kind of sucky, like I didn’t feel nervous at all. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, I’m becoming nervous... Now you’re important to me.
You are quickly becoming the most interesting person I have ever met.
I’m willing to bet that there is so much more about you that others never get to see. I get that same feeling about myself sometimes.
You hide behind that god-given face of yours, though I’m willing to bet that we’re more alike than we first thought. We have all the friends and lovers in the world, yet something is missing... For me, that’s something is love... Only you know what that is for you...
We should totally go on our honeymoon right now... I'd take you to my private island in the Caribbean... Where we'd just lie on white sand with BIG coconuts... listening to the water and admiring the romantic... Red sunset together.... THEN we'd sail on OUR yacht to my mansion in Italy, where it'd be just you and me... And my 10 other wives... And I'll get you a beautiful red Ferrari... Bumper car... So that my loving wife doesn't hurt herself when she crashes *Hug*
Misc:
All the other girls in the room are so jealous of you right now. (Whilst walking with a girl across the room)
It would be rude not to. (People more likely to comply to the social norms)
You remind me of a power puff girl!
You guys totally remind me of like good cop/Bad cop. You know what I want to do to you guys? Dress you up in a sexy red latex outfit with a tail and horns and a trident and dress you up as an angel with a sexy WHITE latex outfit with wings and a halo. I’ll dress as god and you walk on either side of me like this (walk with both girls on either side of you) and we’ll get up to mischief, I’m allowed since I’m god, we could even make out in front of a church and it’s allowed.
Oh, you're getting fiesty, huh? You know what I would do with you? I would dress you up.... in a red.. PVC... *devil* outfit.. You'd have little horns like this... and a tail... ***** boots, and..... a pitch fork. Now your friend here.. I'd dress her up in a similar angel outfit.. with wings.. and a fur halo.. and I'd roll with you guys on each arm down the street.. Every girl would be jealous of you.. And whenever I'd have to make a decision.. I'd let each of you fight over which decision is the most fun.. and whatever one would be the most fun.. we'd do that. (the periods are to show the pacing, because they roll over laughing in between every pause)
So how do you all know each other?
It’s your pleasure to meet me
Kiss Closes:
Tell me. On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of a kisser are you? - Well let’s find out
Would you like to kiss me?
You smell so good... I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now... (push her away, when she leans back in go for the k-close)
You know. Instead of trying to hint it you could have just asked me if I wanted to kiss you... Do you know what I’d have said?... Nothing... ... But I would have done this.
Close your eyes.
Just looking at you I can tell what type of kisser you are. I’m kinda hungry. – “WHAT TYPE OF KISSER??” – I’ll tell you – (Kiss close) – An average one
Funny occupations:
The guy who drills holes in Swiss cheese.
Disposable cigarette lighter repairman.
Dolphin shaver – “THERE IS NO SUCH THING” – Well have you ever seen a hairy dolphin?
Professional kissing instructor... But don’t get any ideas, I don't do free sessions.
Jealous Girlfriend
Guys you need to help me settle this debate once and for all... This is... Like “Fate of the world” kind of stuff... You ready?... Beef... Or Chicken?
Hello hello
Opinion - New earring
Hey are you stalking me? - I’m so tired of hot women following me around all day, it gets annoying.
I’ve never been here before, what do you recommend? - Can I trust you? - If it’s bad we’re getting a divorce.
It’s a good thing you’re pretty (if they do something stupid)
Best friend predicament
You know what they say about girls who...
My friend is coming down from Sydney next weekend and she wants to know good clothes shops
Did you just touch my ass? – I’m not just some piece of meat, I have feelings too.
You like those too!? - I can already tell that we’d never get along, we’re too similar.
Are you guys shy? - I’ve been over there with my friends for 5 minutes and you didn’t even come over and say hi!
Good clubs, restaurants, cafe, activities.
You guys looks like SOO much fun. I had to come and say hi.
You ‘re really bad at staring contests aren’t you?
If you were going to flirt with me like that, you could have at least done your hair a little better.
Didn’t your mum ever tell you it was rude to stare?
How much did you have to pay those guys to stand there with you?
Attraction:
Disqualifiers: Cocky/Funny, Negs, Banter:
I think you have a confession to make... I just got out of the shower and there was a girl in the tree outside my window, and I SWEAR she looked just like you!
That’s all you get. Don’t get any ideas. (When a initiate kino)
Did you just call to flirt with me?
I don’t like the way you look at me... Like I’m some kind of sex object. I have feelings too.
But you can’t get drunk and try come home with me – “why not?” - Because I would rather go to your place
I don’t like you anymore. *****...
Stop undressing me with your eyes, you perv!
Don’t get any ideas. I’m not easy.
I reckon you and that bald guy in the corner will make a REALLY cute couple, let’s go over there and introduce you. *smile*
Look, this isn’t working out, we’re going to have to get a divorce. You’re too controlling.
Look, this isn’t working, I’m getting us a divorce before we even get married.
Keep your pants on missy!
Stop trying to impress me.
You better get back to your friends before they realise you’re over here flirting with me... But before you go... (Time constraint)
Are you always like this? Or just with guys you’re attracted to?
Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger
Whatever woman, go make me a sandwich.
Jesus, how to you turn her off?
Is she always like this?
Are you drunk or always like this?
Is she always so grabby/needy/controlling/demanding?
Nice shoes, what, are you like an oompa loompa without them?
Nice shoes... Some poor homeless kid must be running around barefoot right now.
Oh my God! Your shirt has cuts in it. It looks like you were taken down by a police dog!
You POOR THING! You’re too poor to afford the FULL shirt! Do you want a dollar or
something? We got to get you a real shirt! Come on I’m taking you shopping at k-mart.
Hey ADD, show’s over here!
You would.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’d just fight all the time and I’d win.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’d just fight all the time... Then have awesome makeup sex.
I can already tell that we’d never get along... We’re too similar.
Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything *smile* (when she complains about her looks)
Say’s the girl who [insert how she was trying to hit on you or some funny characteristic]
You’re being demoted to hand holding ONLY
I’m not just some piece of meat/sex object! I have feelings too you know...
Look that was really funny, I’ll give you a medal for that...
Note to self: DO NOT DATE THIS GIRL.
Stop flirting with me!
You can undress me in your head and there is nothing I can do about it... I feel so vulnerable.
Yeah, yeah... I know why you want to get me drunk...
This is a great spot for me, I'm really well-lit.
You’re getting me all emotional. I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight.
Something smells great in here. Oh, it’s me.
You guys are trouble.
You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you
OMG you’re so annoying, you remind me of my sister!
You’re bad. You’re making me think impure thoughts.
You’re a total player, my mum warned me about girls like you!
OH MY GOD! You’re such a brat!
OHHH you dork. I’m going to get you one of those hats with the propeller on it.
We need to get you one of those sippy cups (that baby’s use) (if in a cafe)
It’s a good thing you’re pretty (if she says something retarded)
You’re retarded. Go sit in the corner and put on your helmet.
(Beat them in a game.) OMG you suck at this! But you can cook right?
That was MEAN! You owe me a massage for that. UPPER BODY ONLY! I don’t want you getting any ideas this early on in our relationship.
I’m too high maintenance for you.
You’re so outside the circle of trust.
You’re such a player.
Isn’t this a school night?
We need to find you a guy
Seriously if you don’t stop hitting on me, I’m getting a restraining order
Only on 3 conditions: 1) NO flirting with me. 2) NO checking me out. 3) NO touching! Break any of those and there’s consequences...
I’m going to have to ask for your managers contact information - “are you serious?” - Do I look serious? I don’t appreciate you treating my friend and I like a piece of meat... - I’ll tell you what... I won’t call your manager if you give me your number so I can call you up and we can take you to nymphomaniacs anonymous to help you curve your sexual appetite.
I LOVE your hair, it reminds me of a birds nest.
I LOVE your hair, it makes your head look normal.
Nice shoes. I bet they looked REALLY nice when they were new.
DHV’s, games, experiments, tests:
93% of women masturbate in the shower, the other 7% sing.
Cube
Strawberry fields
White room, Favourite colour, Favourite Animal, Out at sea
5 question game
Dance-o-meter
Make you say 13
Pick a number between 50 and 100 routine
Staring contest
Finger jousting
Thumb wars
Figure 8
Trust test
Fuck, Marry, Kill.
Ring finger routine
Gold stars
Latin dance move
Mood ring
Best friend’s test
Kiss game (who knows more different kisses)
Ring transportation routine
Who can be quiet the longest.
Qualification:
What 3 things about you would make me want to get to know you better when I could be speaking to anyone in this room right now? You can’t say your look’s though because beauty is common.
Can you cook?
Is she house trained?
You’re much too classy to be in a place like this, I can tell you are the dominant girl of your group. (If obstacle tries to take her away all you have to say is “Who’s the dominant one is all i have to say” and she will want to fit the image you made for her.
Are you adventurous? Well what’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
I LOVE girls adventurous/spontaneous... I’m still not sure if you are or not
You can be my new girlfriend. OH WAIT! Can you cook?
You can be my new wife for the next 15 minutes!
Too bad you’re not my type or I’d SO hook up with you right now...
You’re really cool... Too bad you’re not my type... (get into how you love adventurous girls)
I’m too high maintenance for you.
You're nothing that you seem
Your laugh is a disease
I’m too old for you. Actually you just wouldn’t be able to handle me, I’m too adventurous and energetic.
Shit test replies:
Glad you like it. So what else do you like about me?
Looks like someone put on their cranky pants this morning
If that were true, you wouldn’t love me.
Give me a kiss on the cheek and I’ll consider letting you forgive me
Lighten up you loser
Awwww you’re so cute when you’re angry
Jeeeez, you’re so power hungry, reminds me of Rocky. He’s my little jack Russel but he is DOMINANT... Once I took him to the park to introduce him to my ex’s dog, this massive German
Sheppard ect ect (Manuver conversation away from negative emotions)
Stop looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheese burger
Na, well done that was really funny. Anyways... (Roll off)
Comfort:
You know, you're a cool/good/nice girl, despite what everyone else says about you. (During comfort)
My first impression of you was kind of not that great but not that I got to know you, you are amazing. (During comfort)
My first impression of you was kind of sucky, like I didn’t feel nervous at all. Now that I’ve gotten to know you, I’m becoming nervous... Now you’re important to me.
You are quickly becoming the most interesting person I have ever met.
I’m willing to bet that there is so much more about you that others never get to see. I get that same feeling about myself sometimes.
You hide behind that god-given face of yours, though I’m willing to bet that we’re more alike than we first thought. We have all the friends and lovers in the world, yet something is missing... For me, that’s something is love... Only you know what that is for you...
We should totally go on our honeymoon right now... I'd take you to my private island in the Caribbean... Where we'd just lie on white sand with BIG coconuts... listening to the water and admiring the romantic... Red sunset together.... THEN we'd sail on OUR yacht to my mansion in Italy, where it'd be just you and me... And my 10 other wives... And I'll get you a beautiful red Ferrari... Bumper car... So that my loving wife doesn't hurt herself when she crashes *Hug*
Misc:
All the other girls in the room are so jealous of you right now. (Whilst walking with a girl across the room)
It would be rude not to. (People more likely to comply to the social norms)
You remind me of a power puff girl!
You guys totally remind me of like good cop/Bad cop. You know what I want to do to you guys? Dress you up in a sexy red latex outfit with a tail and horns and a trident and dress you up as an angel with a sexy WHITE latex outfit with wings and a halo. I’ll dress as god and you walk on either side of me like this (walk with both girls on either side of you) and we’ll get up to mischief, I’m allowed since I’m god, we could even make out in front of a church and it’s allowed.
Oh, you're getting fiesty, huh? You know what I would do with you? I would dress you up.... in a red.. PVC... *devil* outfit.. You'd have little horns like this... and a tail... ***** boots, and..... a pitch fork. Now your friend here.. I'd dress her up in a similar angel outfit.. with wings.. and a fur halo.. and I'd roll with you guys on each arm down the street.. Every girl would be jealous of you.. And whenever I'd have to make a decision.. I'd let each of you fight over which decision is the most fun.. and whatever one would be the most fun.. we'd do that. (the periods are to show the pacing, because they roll over laughing in between every pause)
So how do you all know each other?
It’s your pleasure to meet me
Kiss Closes:
Tell me. On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of a kisser are you? - Well let’s find out
Would you like to kiss me?
You smell so good... I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now... (push her away, when she leans back in go for the k-close)
You know. Instead of trying to hint it you could have just asked me if I wanted to kiss you... Do you know what I’d have said?... Nothing... ... But I would have done this.
Close your eyes.
Just looking at you I can tell what type of kisser you are. I’m kinda hungry. – “WHAT TYPE OF KISSER??” – I’ll tell you – (Kiss close) – An average one
Funny occupations:
The guy who drills holes in Swiss cheese.
Disposable cigarette lighter repairman.
Dolphin shaver – “THERE IS NO SUCH THING” – Well have you ever seen a hairy dolphin?
Professional kissing instructor... But don’t get any ideas, I don't do free sessions.
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